Walk Down Memory Lane
by IncognitoGirl1993
Summary: Takes place during season 8. Stuck in New York on Christmas eve due to unfortunate circumstances, Morgan decides on taking a walk to ease himself. He is soon forced to walk down memory lane as he comes face to face with an unexpected person.


**So I was compelled to do something like this and I don't know why. I guess I like a challenge. It's kinda hard to get Elle's personality right. She's a hard one to write.**

**Walk Down Memory Lane**

* * *

Morgan walked aimlessly through the night. Cars passed to his left and pedestrians moved about exuberantly. He figured as much since it was Christmas Eve; and it was Christmas Eve and he was in New York. Why, because they were stuck here since flights back home were booked. Somehow their jet was having some malfunctions and repairs were taking longer than they were told. He prayed that this wouldn't lead to them expending their return-home jet privileges. Freaking budget cuts.

After being horrendously bored in their cheap hotel room he opted on going out. Nowhere in particular, but he just had to get out. That hotel room was suffocating. Plus he was in a shitty mood to be honest. That was one of the reasons why he was out by himself.

So Morgan pretty much stood out in this atmosphere of people. Then again they'd be pissed too if they were stuck away from home because they had to catch another psycho. It wasn't like he cared all that much about the holidays —he had been spending them by himself— it was just that this was supposed to be their days off.

Now the team was stuck in New York. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but he'd much rather spend his days off at his house; coffee by his side than stranded in New York. Being in a crummy hotel wasn't how he'd imagined his days off would be like. Why couldn't these sick, twisted unsubs just take the holidays off?

It wasn't just him who had been feeling the lack of spirit. His entire team had all been feeling like scrooges. He wondered momentarily what they were doing to pass the dreaded day. Most likely Hotch was skype'ing with his son as well as Blake with her husband. He recalled Reid running out and stating he was going for a coffee but he figured the boy wanted to reconnect with his mystery girlfriend. Morgan knew JJ was on the phone with Will when he last saw her and he had no clue what Garcia was doing.

Garcia had asked him if he had wanted some company but of course he declined. Normally Morgan would take her up on her offer but right now he just wanted to be alone. He hoped he hadn't sounded like a douche when he'd said no to her. But he just wanted to be alone, no company at all. Morgan just wasn't in the spirit right now, contrast to what his surroundings were.

He came upon a brightly lit Christmas tree. It was placed in the open for any onlooker to see. The tree was decorated with a vibrant display of lights and situated at the very top of it was an even brighter star. It lit up perfectly, giving the tree a nice glow under the luminescent moon. Now that he thought of it, it actually looked nice.

Morgan watched as a few people took some pictures beside it. The children looked so carefree standing by their mother as their father took the picture. A bitter feeling welled up inside him. He was like those children once. He too use to take family pictures and it'd be his father whom would hold the camera.

Clenching his fist he tore his eyes away from the scene. He was about to leave the area but was halted at the last second. This time it was something by his right that caught his attention.

A figure was standing a few feet away from him; a woman. Initially he was about to turn tail and make his way somewhere else, but there was just something about her that held him in place. Her posture was slacked, her shoulders slumped, and her eyes weren't at the beautiful tree but at the ground. She seemed to be in her own world right now and yet wasn't completely ignorant to her surroundings. Almost like a profiler.

And than he found himself walking over to her. He didn't know why. His legs seemed to be moving of its own volition. Well it was better than returning to the hotel.

Now that he was closer he was able to inspect her more clearly. The reddish streaks on her hair were so familiar as well as the shape of her body. That auburn hair of hers was blowing gently with the wind. Since she had no scarf on he was able to catch a glance at her features as the wind blew her hair away.

And it was there in the middle of the night that clarity came through sudden and spontaneous.

_Elle._

As if she had heard his thoughts she shifted her gaze from the ground to him. Their eyes met and it was like time had frozen. Everything around them seemed to gradually disappear. It felt surreal, simultaneously they both thought if what they were seeing was an illusion. He had no clue how much seconds had passed. All he knew was that there was him and there was her.

It was her. Elle Greenaway. His old partner and colleague of the BAU. The one he use to crack jokes with. The one whom had quit so abruptly and left. The one who he thought he'd never see again. Morgan mentally smacked himself for forgetting she was a New Yorker.

She still looked as good as ever. Her hair was longer and passed over her shoulders now. She was also wearing boots which added a bit to her natural stature. Her almond colored eyes still held that fire and confidence that he'd always liked about her. Yet he was able to see something else in her eyes. It was buried deep inside and hidden but his experience as a profiler gave him the ability to analyze it.

Loneliness.

And now as she stood just a few feet away he was certain that's what he saw.

"Morgan?"

Her voice brought him out of his trance. God, he'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed it. He had almost forgotten how she sounded.

"I mean Derek," she corrected herself. "Old habits die hard." She released a forced laugh to somehow stem the growing tension and awkwardness starting to take place.

He released his own laugh too for that very same benefit. "Yeah, I get it."

She rubbed a hand up and down her arm awkwardly. "So... how you been?"

"Good, you?"

"Good."

He could tell she was uncomfortable and just wanted to head home and forget this day entirely. Morgan hated this. They were practically strangers now. How did it turn out like this, why were they strangers now?

"So what are you doing around these parts Derek?"

"We were on a case and now we're stuck here."

"Oh, that sucks."

Morgan chuckled. "Yeah that's one way of putting it."

"Where are they?"

"Back at the shitty hotel you know how it is, I mean you use to be a part of us Elle."

When Morgan didn't get a response he instantly knew he'd said the wrong thing. He wanted to kick himself right now. He should've known not to mention anything to stir her up.

"That's right," she replied monotonously. "I remember."

_Real smooth Derek._

Trying to tone down the tension he gave her a playful nudge. "At least now you don't see Strauss anymore."

Elle shrugged. "I guess. I also don't have to hear Gideon's lectures either."

Morgan lowered his eyes. "Gideon doesn't work for the BAU anymore."

A look of shock contoured her face before she released a bitter laugh. "So I guess I wasn't the only one who had enough."

Morgan frowned. "You're also not the only one who left without a goodbye."

"Believe me Derek, a freaking goodbye was the last thing I had on my mind while I made my choice. I'm sure Gideon felt the same." Elle replied with spite. Her words weren't exactly the truth, though Morgan had no way of knowing that.

"Well it doesn't matter now does it," Morgan countered. "We're doing just fine without you anyway."

Elle paused momentarily. That felt like a stab and it'd hurt more than she'd ever admit. She clenched her fists and mentally cursed her weakness. "Like I care how you're doing."

It was only for an instant but Morgan was able to catch the flash of hurt in her eyes. The hurt he'd ignited. The realization of it felt like a ton of bricks weighing down on him. It didn't matter how it happened, just that his words had hurt her.

Elle turned her back to him and spoke with a soft voice that was layered with several emotions. "Goodbye Derek."

Morgan stood speechless as she took her first step away from him. He was frozen in his tracks. This was it, this was the goodbye. Although he knew her resignation was as solid as her saying goodbye he had taken comfort in the fact that she had never properly bid them the goodbye. It made him sort of feel like she had never left.

But now here it was.

He clenched the front of his shirt, he could swear his heart almost popped out. It hurt. It really hurt. The words had cut deep. He felt like he was standing outside of himself, fully aware that every second he continued to stand motionless she was getting away. She was walking away from him for the second time and this time it was for good.

_No._

A determined look graced his face as his mind was made up. He rushed forward and stopped her in her tracks by grabbing a hold of her shoulders. His words quickly died out in his mouth as he took in her face. The fire and confidence in her eyes were gone, replaced with sadness. And Derek felt his heart almost break at the vulnerability in the woman.

"You hypocrite," Elle muttered, avoiding eye contact. "You never said goodbye either."

Morgan gasped lightly.

"Not once did you call me Derek. Not once did you come to see me!" She added harshly.

Morgan released his grip on her and his arms fell limp to his sides.

Elle gritted her teeth and fisted her hands, still not facing him. "And I understood it really; it was only to be expected. Yet... it was rough. I saw it Derek. Your disappointment, your disapproval, your disgust, it was written all over your face."

"Elle I— "

"I was upset with myself too Derek," Elle interjected. "Once my nervous breakdown came to an end and my repercussions caught up with me I couldn't take it." She finally lifted her gaze back up to him. "What I couldn't understand was why you simply tossed me away."

"You left Elle." Morgan said, forcing himself to hold his gaze. It was a lot harder than he'd initially thought.

"I had to leave Derek! I couldn't take it anymore, it was all so damn suffocating! I never expected for the others to forgive me, but you... weren't we friends?"

That was all it took for Morgan to avert his eyes. The more she said the more his insides burned.

"To me you were like a best friend." Elle murmured, her voice getting weaker and weaker as time progressed. "Sometimes it felt as if you were my only friend. But maybe I was the only one who thought... who thought that we were friends. If that's the case than... I must be so foolish. You got along with others the same as you did with me; I should've known I wasn't anything special."

Morgan wanted to say something, to tell her that wasn't it but he couldn't find his voice.

"I couldn't help it, I really believed we were friends Derek. That you cared. I knew to the others I was expendable, but I thought you were different. And I really believed we'd still keep that same relationship afterwards." By now Elle's voice had toned down; it was strained and weak. "But that wasn't how it turned out."

Morgan could hear her voice cracking a bit and he knew she was fighting back any tears that threatened to fall. Her words were heavy and it was continuously eating away at him. He knew her pain was deep and he feared now that she may actually break should he say the wrong thing.

Elle lowered her eyes sadly. "Time went on and you never came, never called to check on me. You went on with your business like nothing had ever happened, like I'd never existed. It was than that I realized I was alone. God Derek, do you know what it feels like for you when you realize you aren't important to anyone? It's a tough thing to feel, when you aren't needed by anyone in this world."

Morgan winced. "Elle..."

She wrapped her arms around herself as if to repress it all. "You just severed ties with me Derek and it hurt. I was alone. Everything was all darkness and pain, a pitch-black hell. I thought it was you who understood me, you were never put off by my abrasiveness." She released a bitter laugh again. "I thought you enjoyed my company as I did yours. It was only after I'd quit that I realized how wrong I was. Looking at you now only brings back those shitty memories."

That was all Morgan could take, he couldn't remain silent anymore.

"Elle, when you left it hurt. It was a hard blow to the heart. You were right when you said I was disappointed with you, I won't lie to you." Morgan confessed. "But I was more pissed at myself for not doing anything. All the signs were pointing to you but I did nothing. I saw your pain and I wasn't able to do anything. I was stupid and... and I couldn't express how I really felt."

Morgan placed his hands on her shoulders again and made her face him. She had to see he meant this, that his words were sincere. "I didn't know I meant that much to you. That you held me to such a high regard. It hurts to hear you question our friendship. My feelings for you are genuine. You are important to me Elle."

Her eyes widened slightly at the fact that he used the present tense when speaking of his feelings.

"I didn't go to you and I'm so sorry Elle. I thought if I chose to respect your decision and give you your space than you'd come back." Morgan stated truthfully. His face went downwards to the ground. "Things only went downhill from then. I got arrested and my only shred of privacy was destroyed, Reid was kidnapped and almost killed, Gideon left without a word, and I still hadn't heard from you. Than the team lost Emily all because of me, only for us to find out she'd never died and it was just a burden Hotch and JJ were forced to carry."

Elle had no idea who this Emily was that Morgan had mentioned, but she figured it must have been her replacement.

"When she came back to us I was shocked to my core, but I was happy, truly happy. A part of me had hoped you'd return to us too, return back to me. Yet you still didn't."

"I was under the impression that I wasn't wanted back." Elle replied quietly.

"All I could do by than was burying it. I didn't think my actions would make you doubt my feelings." Morgan willed himself to look back at her and she could see the hurt in him. "You think you weren't on my mind, I never stopped thinking about you. I wasn't playing around during our time together, you truly were my friend. To think time went on without you knowing that. God you must've been so lonely Elle."

The conversation was rough for both sides, but it was a conversation that was long overdue. The two were unaware that they were both feeling much lighter now that they had said what was needed to be said.

Elle was stunned by his words. All this time they had been away from each other unaware that they both were feeling the same things all along. Both felt betrayed and discarded by the other. She felt ridiculous for her ignorance to his feelings. She wasn't the only one who was hurting.

This was the breaking point for Elle. All those years of bottling her feelings were all leading up to this. She bit her lip and her hands trembled as she fought a losing battle to not break down. Who was she kidding, her shields and walls were broken. She didn't have to do this anymore, the man in front of her had told her she was important to him. There was no reason to hold it in anymore.

Elle closed the gap between them and buried herself in his chest. Her arms encircled him, holding him tight.

Morgan was caught off guard momentarily, but his shock was soon replaced with a soft smile.

Elle's body was trembling against his and he knew the tears were falling. Her voice was soft as she spoke. "I'd wanted... I'd wanted to see you one last time before I..."

Morgan knew what she wanted to say, because he felt the same way. He brought his arms up and held her close to him, glad that he finally got his chance to see her again. To see his friend and be able to give her some comfort and closure. They remained like that for a while, stuck in their own world where nothing else existed. It was only them.

"I'm sorry Elle, I never meant to hurt you like this."

Elle only tightened her hold on him. "No, I'm sorry Derek. I was so caught up with myself and I wasn't able to see that you were hurting as much as I was."

Morgan pulled away and wiped a tear off her face. "Don't you worry Elle, I'm here now and that's all that matters."

His words were genuine, Elle knew that. His embrace was soothing. Their issues were now settled. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Morgan replied. Now that all the tension was gone he smiled, a big grin that she had missed. "You know what Elle?"

"What?"

"Even after all these years you still look good."

Elle chuckled lightly at first, but that soon grew into a hearty laugh. "You too, the goatee suits you. I like it."

"Do you have any plans?"

Elle paused. "Whoa, you don't waste any time Derek."

Morgan shrugged. "I'm stuck here anyways, I figured I could take it to my advantage. So do you?"

"No nothing in particular." Elle said, a smirk played on her lips. "Why?"

He placed his arm around her, just like he had all those years ago when he was inviting her to Jamaica with him, and he smiled. "Because the night is still young."

"You're right."

* * *

They sat comfortably across one another in a small diner. The conversations they had were amiable ones. Each filling the other on what they'd missed while being away from the other.

"So I see you're still kicking the doors down Derek," Elle joked.

Morgan laughed. "Hey, it's what I do best." He sent her a smirk. "So tell me Elle, has anyone been able to thaw that heart of ice?"

"You first agent Morgan," Elle countered mischievously. "Has any lucky lady been able to tame you?"

"If I had a lucky lady don't you think I'd be back at the hotel having phone sex with her instead of wandering around," Morgan joked.

Elle couldn't hold in her laugh. "You haven't changed one bit Derek, you still know how to crack me up."

"Heh, old habits die hard," he repeated her previous words. "Now it's your turn."

"If I had a man waiting for me do you think I'd be out wandering around?" She winked.

"Touché Elle." Morgan replied. He didn't know why but that was the answer he'd been hoping to hear. "So I don't need to be worried about some dude barging in here looking for you right?"

"Nope, and I don't need to be worried about some girl calling your phone and interrupting us right?"

"Of course not, you have nothing to—" and ironically Morgan's phone began ringing.

Elle raised a brow, wearing an amused look. "I guess that's my answer."

Morgan frowned; he should've turned the damn thing off. He angrily pulled his phone out. The touch screen read 'Garcia'. He contemplated letting it go to voicemail but decided that she'd only keep calling.

"So it really is your impatient girlfriend." Elle said with a laugh.

"It's just Garcia," Morgan corrected before answering it. "Talk to me babygirl."

Elle watched as Morgan's face suddenly beamed up.

"You're kidding me, no way." Morgan replied to Garcia's statement. "Thanks." With that he ended the call and returned his attention back to Elle. "She said the jet's fixed!"

That only served to make Elle face away. "Oh I see, good for you."

It was then that he realized the impact of his words. This meant goodbye again. When the realization hit Morgan he too lowered his eyes. Now he was really wishing he'd shut his phone off.

Their mood was flushed down the toilet. What was supposed to have been good news turned out to be more of a rude awakening. Morgan wondered why those workers couldn't have just fixed the jet earlier. And suddenly a light bulb lit up inside him.

Morgan dumped some money onto the table and before Elle could protest on him paying, he quickly cut her off. "Elle, come with me."

"Huh? Wha—" Elle had no time to ask questions as Morgan took her wrist and dragged her out with him.

"Where the hell are we going Derek?" Elle asked. She certainly recalled the familiar route.

"You'll see." Morgan answered with a grin, his hand still holding hers. He led them back towards the Christmas tree where they had their conversation earlier.

Elle crossed her arms. "Okay Derek, what the hell are we doing back here? Don't you have to leave already or something?"

From her tone he knew she was upset, but not with him. No it wasn't with him, it was the circumstances happening around them; and since she couldn't exactly yell at the air she opted on him as her target. This was why he'd brought her here.

"This spot has meaning to me Elle."

"Okay... and?" Elle asked, completely clueless to what he was doing and curious at the same time.

"What, don't you get it?" Morgan replied excitedly. "This is the spot where we were reunited. It definitely wasn't coincidental that we ran into each other. It may sound cheesy but I believe it was fate, we were meant to be reunited again Elle."

No she didn't find it cheesy at all. He had no idea what his words meant to her; for him to tell her his belief he found silly; give her trust; and to forgive her, he had no idea what it meant. Elle felt heat rise to her cheeks at the thoughts, which seriously stunned her considering the fact that she was never one to blush.

Morgan pulled his phone out and held it up. "I want us to take a picture here Elle."

A small gasp escaped her.

Morgan signaled a passing lady. "Excuse me ma'am, would you mind getting a picture for me and my friend?"

The woman smiled. "Sure."

"Thanks." Morgan took Elle's hand again and positioned them two right in front of the tree. He gave her a playful nudge. "Now Elle, I want you to give me your best smile here okay?"

Elle was at a complete loss of words. This was something she hadn't felt in a huge amount of time. The feeling was almost alien to her. She was touched by his kind gesture. She was happy. The man before her was something else, he had a heart of gold.

"Okay." She finally said.

Morgan sent a nod to the woman.

"Okay," she nodded, readying the camera. "On three. One..."

Elle looked at some point in the distance, pondering at the situation she'd found herself in. All the events that had transpired had caught up with her. Granted, she hadn't anticipated a lot of the things that had just happened, but this went beyond unexpected.

This was flat-out surreal.

Right as the woman reached for the button on the phone a hand was draped over her shoulder and a whisper skimmed the shell of her ear.

"Remember, your best smile."

_"Three!"_

The shutter snapped.

* * *

The jet hovered elegantly in the air, taking its sleep-deprived, grateful passengers back home.

Garcia downed the coffee she had been drinking and tossed the styrofoam cup into the waste bin. She began her trek back to her seat, catching a glance of her team.

Rossi was sprawled on one of the seats —he was the one who had exhausted himself the most— fast asleep, across from him was JJ who was starting to doze off, Reid sat next to her already knocked out on her shoulder and snoring lightly. Adjacent to them was where her seat was as well as two other members. Hotch was fast asleep on his chair with Blake across from him asleep as well.

She was about to join them in dreamland when she caught a glance of the last member of the team. Sitting in the farthest end of the jet was a still-awake Morgan. Garcia decided to sit by him and she noted that he didn't even notice her approaching. His eyes were glued to his phone that was on one hand while a slightly crumpled paper rested in the other.

"Hey you, can't sleep?"

At this Morgan finally lifted his gaze. "Well actually I was just about to." And he wasn't lying when he said that. Today had been a long, tiring, eventful day.

Garcia gave him a sweet smile. "Okay, sleep tight hot stuff."

"You too." Morgan replied as she headed back to her chair. He took one last look at his phone's screen and relished at the sight of two people wearing the biggest smiles one had ever seen. Subconsciously he held the paper with Elle's number close to his chest before dozing off into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

_Don't be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. _

_- Richard Bach_

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**I just had to finish this before Christmas, glad I did. Happy holidays you guys, enjoy it.**


End file.
